This is where BENNY story life begin

Is life really meaningful?

2011-08-21T15:54:00.001+08:00

I had been questioning myself for this for so long. And i still can't get a answer.

I know it's not an easy question. But the answer always come from expression of a person.
Some feel meaningful and some are not.
Why God want those who feel life is not meaningful to stay in this world. They feel so meanless staying and yet god are trying to toture them.
I know it a test for us but it simply to hard.
Some of them can't take it n some of them pass through.
Why can't just make it fair and simply. And not making thing worst.

I don't know how good life feels. But i already taste the bad life as a human being.
I seen all different of person n feels alot of feeling.
But that not all. I still got so long road to go.
Do u think it fair for a human being to do so much thing.

Good life dont feel anything. And bad life always taste all this shit. I dont mean it but it is a fact.

Even a human being leave this world. They still concern the family outcome. Not just asset and even their united as a family.

After seeing my grandpa leave this world.
The family is just like a crushed broken glass.
And my dad n mum divorce.

I really fears of making a family. It meaningless.
And bcos of this i learn how to independent abd self esteem. I think my grandpa is teaching me how to survive even without anyone out there. And i feels it a correct way. I really know le grandpa. Thanks u for teaching me. I will prove to everyone my capablilty and prove them wrong. I will forever respect u.

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Not in the mind

2011-07-16T22:01:00.002+08:00

Today i had no feeling at all as a human being.
I don't even know what im doing.

I'm feel so stress and exhausted. I really want to take some break.
But i can't.
Life is making me so miserable.
Sometime i feel like ending my life. Because i always walking in the wrong path.
Now i don't know what is right and what is wrong.
I don't have a sense to feel it.
Friend also thought im enjoying my life. But I'm totally not.
I got so much problem. I really feel very very stress.

I don't deserve all this. it totally unfair to me.
If this really what i get. Why should i stay in this world?
I really think i don't belong here.
Maybe end of my life is the best way to solve all my problem.
Because i don't need to worry anymore. All this problem really make me
can't concentrate on everything.
I had give up my passion and ambition.
And this is what i get in the end.
i think i'm that stupid.

And i want to apologies to all my mistake that i have done.

I really want to say sorry to my 3 superior for giving them so much trouble
i know it totally my fault. if i don't start. Now it won't end up like this.

I really feels so SORRY for them.

And i also want to say SORRY to THOMAS.
i know i'm too over the limit. And i really deserve scolding from you.
I don't blame u for what u done. And i know my mistake.

I also want to say SORRY to my both bosses. For given them so much trouble.
I really feel so bad.

I also want to apologies to all my colleague and friend out there. if i had done thing that make u think it over the limit. i really feels bad. And if u think i'm that bastard than i'm alright to break the friendship. Because i know i don't deserve to be your friend at all. I know how it feels. I'm alright for that.

I know SORRY can't solve the problem. But i swear to god i won't do it again.

I'm Back

2011-07-10T03:22:00.001+08:00

Hi Everyone, it had been long time since i blog.... So sry. too busy till almost forget my blog liao.

I had not been doing gd since my grandfather leave this world. Im so stress now.
-So much problem to handle
-Facing alot of diffculties
-Now family so many issue

I dont know why i have to face all this, i come to this world for almost 20 years. I had nvr ever get any good thing and instead bad stuff always come to me.

Sometime i really feel i dont deserve to be in this world Or the god trying to joke with me.

I really dont understand why? Why all this shit must happen to me. Why cant i be a normal human being enjoying their teenage life and feel happy everyday.

I really dont know what to do now. I want to forgive n forget. But i cant.

When i see my fellow family enjoying their life n im stuggleling my life. I really feel of going toward them and scold them. But i cant do it bcos of my grandfather. I respect him so much. I always does my best to be a gd grandson. I really like my grandfather so much. I also miss him alot. But what i get in the end. A piece of shit..... Nothing.

All my uncle n auntie get my grandfather left over asset. And my family get nothing. It totally not fair.... They go travel n i Struggleing.

I really need some break to cool down. But once i think back. I will feel so angry like a viper snake. Going to bait till it dead.

If God dont even help me.
I going to be crazy le....
I juz want fair n peaceful life.
Juz a simple thing request.
But the god dont even want to fufill my wish.

Haiz. Said so much also no use. I gonna solve the problem. Either i win it or i going to make thing worst.

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2010-11-18T11:01:00.006+08:00

Current mode - not feeling good
Current song - jay sean walking alone

Today feel so tired... Yesterday injured my knee...
Now swollen... But I still go to work. And never sleep well
Well today is sherraine birthday. I want to wish her happy birthday. Even duo I'm busy but I will never forget her birthday. So wish her dream come true n success on what ever she do...she a future star n I know she can do it. So pls continue support her.....

Well I still working...
I will blog again asap....

2010-11-11T21:12:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone. Im back blogger.
Hmm didnt talk much during work.
It really not like me lol....
But maybe after yesterday i had enough of
this shit. ENOUGH.. That it. I will do what i asked to do
Other than that i will zipped and throw into the bin.

Now i just reliase that there is so many different attitude of people in this world... Some are juz too much till dont even deserve to be human being.... Maybe animals suit them more.

I not trying to protest but they are juz overboard....
And they dont even appriciate friend that treat them good.
I really had enough of this shit.
Friend always help each other but some dont even care their die....And sometime even family also give this kind of case...

Haizzz... Everything is so complicated....

Well im still working... Hope everything can go smoothly and end it with happiness..... See you all tomorrow...

Good night and thanks for reading my lao shao...
Apologise if u feel this is bad but i really had enough of this attitude that friend and supervisor given me....
Bcos they TOTALLY TOO MUCH......

2010-11-10T17:00:00.002+08:00

Well wasnt be great today.
I was blogging ytd late night n in the end i wake up late.
But lucky i manage to reach office on time.

But that not all of my day. I didnt have a good working day Today and end up so crook up wherever i do.

Hmm maybe not enough rest or think too much liao.
I really wish time can gone faster and start moving on into future. We will nvr know what will going to be happen for the next few years but im really excited to look forward of this future....
Hope eveything can go on smoothly and when the time come. Everything will be in a best and fresh enviroment.
Aiyo i also dont know what am i saying now. But doesnt matter. Hope world peace......

And it time to start planning future liao....
And my desire is still on. I hope i wont give up so easy

2010-11-09T23:56:00.006+08:00

Current song : Rainie Yang - Yu ai
Current mood : Tiring

Sry long time nvr blog. Bcos i too busy le
i currently working shift so my schedule is totally pack.
But i really hope i will start spent some time on my blog.
Thing not going well recently. But really thks my workin team mate. Bcos they are the one keep cheer me up. Even i had problem they are always the one pull me out from dead end.
And my family had given me so much problem now.
I dont know why cant it be simple and easy and yet making thing so diffcult and complicated. Aiyo... Maybe this is what god given me a test. I really hope thing will get back as usual.
Now i really had to think about earing more money. Bcos in this world money cant earn finish but i wish i can earn as mufh as i can.... Relationship, i will temporary said no. Simple still can but actual i will said no. I want to put more effort on money.... Bcos in this world no money u will nvr survive. And i the only person working for my family. If i stop my family welfare will stop. So they are count on me. So i cannot stop earning money. I know im still young. But i had already put money on my first list. So i now had started to cut down spenting money and put more effort on earning money. But god can give me a chance to start afresh and clear all my bad sin away... Hope all my friend there. Pls stop me on spenting on thing that not really needed at all. Thks. I really apprciate if u stop me... Bcos i know u are my true frez.....

Well that all but i want to say a last word n it is

SORRY SHERRAINE. I know wat i did. And i apologise for that.
Maybe i too eagle for that but i know my mistake....
Hope u see this can accept my apologise. Or else i will feel bad forever. And i swear i wont disturb u anymore. Bcos i know im not the one that u are looking for and i still thick skin by putting it on my blog.... I really sorry........ >:-(

2010-09-26T21:04:00.003+08:00

Today didnt enjoy much. Spent all my time at hm
feeling of going out but no money haizzz.

Really it time to save up some money liao.
Now i finally feel that no money really
cannot survive in this world.

I hope once i said it. I dont forget.
Bcos since than i said le but nvr do it

but now i really take this seriously liao.
Well not much to post.
Tomorrow working morning shift.

So good night everyone
hope can post to u people soon
GOOD NIGHT

2010-09-24T00:31:00.002+08:00

Well i had not been blogging for so long liao.
I had been busy on working n life.
But ever since i enlisted till now.
I still cant find a way to get my life better.
Always dont feel the way of living as human being.

Good thing always didnt come to me.
And bad thing always have in my shoe.
I dont really know what good thing feel like.
And i had been so long since i tasted a good feeling.
People always said life is enjoyable and excitment.
But why i cant feel and imagine that.

Friend always said i had no life. But actully
i have but bcos of parent strict and upholding my
entire life. Now i had to suffer so much.

Mum now sick
Dad dont even think of working.

Now if i dont help to support family. They will
die. I really wan to have the same life with my frez
always pub, clubbing etc. But i cant. Frez always said
im rich got this and that. But that all my hardwork n
saving to buy. N that the only thing to enjoy my life.

I really need to think twice now. I had so much problem
but yet i had been keeping for so long till i had totally burst
the whole thing out.

I really wan life and freedom with alot of money.
I dont wan to continue this life. I had enough of this
i wan to enjoy travel around the whole world n
with unthinkable welfare.
This is not i wan my life to be right now and my future
pls god change my life. I dont want to continue like this
i really regert i didnt appriciate my past. Now i wan it back

2010-08-09T15:22:00.002+08:00

well today is august 9th. i wish singapore a happy 45th birthday. And hope ecomonic can go well soon so we wont have trouble surviving. by the way im going to operation soon. On the 1st september. But i wish my operation is succes. i now keep spenting my off day at home. First so bored, than dont wish to spend money. Lol. Really sian lol. Now i know saving money it hard and spenting money is just as easy as anything. But i will continue endure my saving. And now i had thinkk twice. I wan to quit gambler and think about future.but sometime still must play it for fun lah. Dont said totally quit. At least have abit of excitment still ok lor. Haiz SYOG coming. Sure very busy sure miss alot of getai. Haizz nvr mind i also nvr work liao. So getai doesnt mean so much. Concernate ns more better than working outside.

That all i quite busy this few wks so maybe i will blog before my operation. God plzzz bless my operation successful

2010-07-03T12:34:00.003+08:00

hi everyone im back...
So boring weekend..Nothing to do.
Somemore camp life is so sux...everyday study
Study study.....worst than study dipolma...
I just dont know how the past badge can make it like this situation.. Study from 9am to 9.30pm lor... Crazy de. Aiya just hope faster poc lor....
I think my blog is going to die liao..
No one come to my blog and read. And also post comment.
it started to waste of my time blog le.
I think i should close it more better lor... haha
Aiya sian lor... So bored.... Anyone wan to call me out.. Haha ....

2010-06-20T23:01:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone im looking for all my lost contact friend. So if u think u are inside just add me at facebook and tage me here at my blog.

Haizzz. Tomorrow go back camp liao. Sorry for not posting bcos too busy till no time to post. Going to sleep liao.Post to u all soon.Good Night

2010-06-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

ahhh tomorrow going back camp liao. Wa sian la another week again. Still havent do autobiography and squad design. Wa liao. Dont wish to do lor. It's sux man. So childish. Dont even think of doing it. Hope can faster get out of this freaking course and go do office work. They keep delays my transfer. Freaking angry and stress now. Really want to go bang wall die liao. Lol if u want to know more about me than come my blog read my post la. Do wat autobiiography. Waste time and effort. No common sense at all. Stupid man. Aiya tomorrow die lor. I also dont care anymore liao. I use to it liao. Only get scolding nia mah. just bear with it lor. Aiya dont said liao. Said ler make me more angry. Forget it. Today enjoy too much liao. Morning bowling than afternoon play pool till evening. Wa so enjoyable lor hope can everyday like that. I will bless god forever haha. Hope god can save my stressfuliness and irriatliness now, lol dont even know there is this word call stressfuliness and irriatliness lol haha. nvr mind have can faster transfer can liao. Than i will in peace already. That all hope can blog to u all next weekends if i still alive lah haha. Good night everyone.

2010-06-13T01:14:00.000+08:00

Training的时间真的很难过，我根本都不想join coast guard. 一点都不是何我。现在的心情真的很反，很想跳进海里死了算了。跟本都没有人知道我的压力和反脑。自会说他们的反脑比我多，但是他们都没不知道我的事，就认为我子是Simple case.我很想一个人静一静先，所以这几天就站是不会Posting 我的Story。而我会Asap的在回来Post de.

2010-05-27T15:24:00.002+08:00

hi eveyone im back. Finaly pop lo.
But still feels very sad. Firstly my posting is police coast guard
I wan npco but cant get. somemore i dont know how to swim so
It very diffcult to train. Sure it will be very tough but i really dont like
Swimming. Haizzz. Now currently serving my leave till next monday than go report my new camp.
I feels so stress and tired. I hope i still can endure till the end of this 3month course. And hope by the time i can already know how to swim or else die. So die die must know lor. Their test is siao de lor. Must swim 8 lap and jump from 20m tall. Crazy de. Dont know what to say le. They win liao lor. Pcg really treat thing so serious. I hope really can make it for this 3month training. That all post to you soon. Currently sick haizz sway..... Hope can recover soon.

2010-04-25T10:50:00.003+08:00

hi everyone.

I HAD A NEWS TO TELL EVERYONE.

I HAD OFFICIAL GIVE UP QIQI.

And i will concernate more on my ns and earn more money.

I planning to go thailand on dec christmas.

So anything that u wish to ask me help you buy can just tell

me here by comment or sms instead.

That all too busy must concernate my exam on tuesday and pop drill.
Hope can post to you more soon.

by the way yeah i just got a new phone.

SAMGSUNG CORBY PRO.
Too good till cannot explain haha see u next time.

2010-04-17T01:51:00.002+08:00

hi everyone im back so sorry sorry.
i really too busy liao.
no time to post.
but im always hope i can faster pass out.
and can fully concernate my target.
Yeah everyone know.
Is winning sherraine heart.
i had been trying so hard since 7month ago
but yet fails. but i never give up.
i will still fight till the end.
i really hope i can win her heart and
protector her and love her forever.
i had been praying very hard for her
whenever im in camp.
Because i just like her till my maximum limit already.
i really dont care what will she like or be next time
because i truely like her than any single one in this world.
i really hope she can attend my pass out parade on 24th may 2010
because i try very hard and endure so many obstacle
to get through into this pass out parade.
Someone time i had a thought of giving up or die and left this world.
but once i open my phone and see her photo.
my heart just told me not to do it.
WHY. ....
Just because i dont want to leave her because i love her so much
So whenever i feel tired or depress, the photo always motivate and cheer me up.
i know it very hard to start a relationship. but i always want
to just start from the beginning by knowing each other again and slowly start.
i really will put my 100% effort on her and use my 110% protect her.
And that is my promise.
I know use talk is no use. but i will prove to everyone that i will do it.
even saffrice my life for her i also willing to do it.

And till now it already 5month le.
i will tell every single one of you people
i had never change and im still the same person
Benny Teo and will never change forever.
And even my heart also will never change.
I swear to every single god out there
i will only like sherraine law one person
not other girls in this world.
And i will keep this promise till i end of my life.

That all i want to said
my dream is to see her on my pass out parade hope she
can come and see me with my ending that i almost going to give up but
yet im still stand strong just because of her.
Good night everyone

2010-04-02T02:50:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone im back sry for not posting for so long liao
too busy on stuff.
Schedule is too tight till cannot breath already.
But currently dont have com to use so nvr get a chance to post
my com spoilt already but getting new one soon . Yeah...

Btw i wish to warn the person who comment at my blog as qiqi bf and future father in law
Please lah dont be too childish ok. i admit i not qiqi bf now. but no matter what i
will still fight till the end de.
i will let u see, i will win qiqi heart n with a beautiful ending
so dont need to dream too much liao.
QIQI is mine ok.
i will give her 100% and protect her forever.
I can do more than what u can do.
So pls stop day dreaming liao ok. WAKE UP BOY.

Hope can get together with qiqi and win her heart.
this is my mission now. Hope can clear this mission soon.
PLZ SUPPORT ME. Thank u all to the max.

2010-01-31T14:14:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone i'm back Yeah just finish my bpt
But got alot of problem now.
I'm so depress.
Keep Headache and eating panadol.
I think i had eaten at least 10 tablet per day ba.
Just keep headache. So stress in ns
And also alot of problem outside.
Alot of thing must cope.
Making me so tired liao.
I really hope can down pes so i can at least relax myself.
I dont know why always think so much.
And i dont even know what am i thinking.
I was cry since past 4 day.
When i get scolded i will cry easily.
Just dont know WHY?
I am so tired of everything liao
just want to relax myself now
butStill got 13 weeks to finish my bmt
after that still got course ...
Haiz so freaking tired already.
I need someone to comfort me and counsel me now.
WHAT SHOULD I DO TO UNDEPRESS MYSELF.
Talk to all the old man and lady also no use bcos in the end
also just get scolded. No point asking them to counsel me just not working at all lor
i just need a quite place and comfort and control down my mind and stop
thinking so many thing and slove my problem
faster and quickly.I know no one can help me bcos im now serving ns
but i really want to rest just for a while.
I freaking tired already.
I even feel that im sick.
Like no mood to carry on my ns.
Feel like drying but also cannot
Think back about my mum and dad haiz.
Cannot just leave the world like that or else
they both will suffer and they need me to carry on till
their last day.Without me they will suffer more.

Die also cannot dont die also cannot
haiz what should i do leh.

HEADACHE NOW.

2010-01-23T22:12:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone... Yeah 7th wks of ns liao
But still got 14 wks to end my training
Haizz. But good news i'm recover from sick liao
Yeah after 1 month lol...
Longest sick in my life lor.
Very tough time. But now so happy
because recover liao.
Nothing to say
Back next wks
Take care guy

2010-01-16T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone im back
Sorry that i wont be posting so much
Becasue i'm sick now. I going
to ttsh tomorrow morning.

I had been coughing since
new year eve till now
And also been vomiting since last weeks
till now. Now also stomachache and dirrhoea.
Walao.... Freaking sick man.
I so tired and no mood.
Just feel like drying.
No feeling anymore.
Like unhuman.
That all hope i'm still can survive.

URGENT NEWS

2010-01-10T13:48:00.001+08:00

To all my friend and blog viewer

Please help me vote for SHERRAINE LAW at Stomp Getai
This the website:
http://getai.stomp.com.sg/stomp/getai/season4/list_singers/#votingSection_207156
At Page 10 SHERRAINE LAW YI QI.

The song that u listen at my blog are sing by her and she is a very good singer
Please vote for her.I just want to fufill her wish.

Please everyone help me vote for her. The last day is on 31 jan 2010
I curently serving ns so dont have the time to vote.
I really need everyone to help me
Just click on the vote box for every 20 second.
And if u had voted please just give a tag and i will
THANKS YOU TO THE MAX..

Please everyone help me to support her.

2010-01-09T20:48:00.001+08:00

So fast one month at ns le.
SO tiring,now fall sick
cough very badly somemore just found out
got high blood pressure. Maybe it time to go for
another check up liao.

Haizzzz. so many problem. So headache and stress.
I think ns making my life more worst lor.
I keep thinking so much and also keep thinking
of Sherraine. When i miss her i will take out my hp
and look at her photo.

Now i just feel like drying. Keep coughing now.
Dont know how long i still can survive. I scare
got cancer or health problem. Asthma and High blood
Pressure give me problem already.Now this problem making
me so stress and cant take it anymore..
But dont worry if really i leave this world during my ns life.
I had wrote a diary at camp. With all my feeling and last word to my family
and love one. So if really i leave please read it and hope everyone dont be sad
if i gone because i dont like people cry for me.

That all, will be back next weekend. So hope i can post to u all next week.

2010-01-02T13:49:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone, SORRY for not posting. I'm too busy during

Christmas and New Year so no time to post

And im sick now. Im so too tired , stress , moody , etc etc

I just want to say is no matter what im will still stay strong

And prove everybody wrong. Because i dont like defeat but i like victory

So i just want to say is dont give up no matter how hard it is

But dont goover the limit bcos it cant benefit u and yet

in the end u will like me suffering sick and stress.

That all i hope 2010 is a good years for everyone and good luck on everything

2009-12-26T21:03:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone, Well this photo took yesterday at hm. haha very ugly right

i knew it... No Hair liao Botak le. haizzz but botak very good lor.

Hair dry very fast so can sleep early after bath haha. My habit lor....Haha

LOL my com now siao siao de.. Sometime ok sometime not ok...

Making me so angry aiyo must get a new wan soon lor or else

i will get depression haha...

NO COM NO LIFE.

That all post to u all soon

Btw I had a good christmas this years

How About U all.

Good Night

2009-12-24T17:59:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone. Merry Christmas to all.

Sorry for not posting but i trying my best liao

my com spoilt so will not be posting till i get a new com

and will be soon lor

But i will try to keep in touch with everyone asap

Hope everyone a happy enjoyable Merry Christmas

2009-12-19T16:58:00.002+08:00

Hi i'm back
Sorry everyone. i wont be posting again because
of some reason but if got anything just tag and i
will reply u asap.

But mostly i will said i miss alot of thing.
Family, Friend but mostly miss is sherraine.
But i know love wont be force so i dont blame her.
But really hope she know i am trying to win her heart.
And there no worry with me
because life inside ns is good and well.
And i will stop my posting so really hope thing will go well for everyone
and thanks for viewing my blog and tag me and also concern me so much
but hope all this can and will continue. but i will try my best to blog
to u all asap.

Continue SOON.....

2009-12-07T19:17:00.002+08:00

Last Dat to ns

Well just want to said farewell to everyone and i will back on 18 dec
If got anything just sms me or call me but please call/sms me around 8pm to 9pm
And if dont have my number. just get it though facbook info
And btw my com spoilt liao so wont be posting till i get a com
So I will post to u people asap.
Hope Everyone Dont miss me ok....

Continue ASAP

2009-12-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

4 day to ns

Well times going so fast...
Btw, i will be back on 18 dec
And hope i will post to u people
if im still stay strong.
Because under the past experience
we have not much time spenting on
surf net or go out etc,
because fri night come out
sat rest whole day to gain back our energy
than sun night go back liao
So it just totally tight schedule
but hope im still got the time to
post my feeling and etc.

So if got anything that u wan to look for me just send a msn message or call my handphone number.
If dont have my number, u can find it at my facebook information. As i stated my msn address and hp number. But please sms or call me at night around 9plus because that it my free time using my phone but i wont be 24/7 haha.

That all for this, i will busy till last day of my countdown. and i will post my last post before i go in.
My schedule
3/12- going my friend house.
4/12- go clubbing with friend
5/12- go my sister in law house ton night
6/12- go out with friend (maybe)
7/12- last day will be spenting whole day with my mum and also go visit my dad.

Well that all for my time.. I really hope everyone a happy time and please dont miss me haha. Because i will miss u all lor. Haha.
Hope i will survive my 5month training.
And i will always miss u as much than other.
I wont mention who but the people will know who. Because i promise u i will still the same and like u in the same way and same feeling. And i wont change my mind with inside friend influence. And that always a promise.
No forget
No change
No regert
No break promise.
No turning back

2009-12-02T00:53:00.002+08:00

1st Dec Post
1weeks to ns

well left 1weeks to ns already,
i very exhaust what will happen
during the training and what kind
of training will i be suffering
but this shouldnt be my main
point because i dont care
how hard the training is
and i will pass through every
sector of the training successful

And my main point is
i really hope my hope
are still there.
I know there
is someone still concern
me but yet i treat someone
冷漠。。。 And never chat since
long time liao.
But i really hope one day i will
da dong tai de xin
and i had told u i wont regert
for what i choose because that is my choice

Continue tomorrow

2009-11-30T23:20:00.001+08:00

8 day to ns

今天的心情不很理想
我觉得很累和心酸。

我知道我每一次要用
华文Post我就要用一天的时间
因为我的华文不是很好所以
花的时间会比较多。

我的时间不多了，但是我
很怀念我小时后的生活和
快乐的家庭，可是之从
我妈得了中风，我的
家庭出现了360度卷变

而我没有办法部回
着多年的伤口
和把我爸妈服和
但是我想有一天
可以一家人在一起
吃一顿晚餐。haizzz

continue tomorrow

2009-11-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

9 days to ns liao

时间过的这么快
多9天就要去ns了
我还己得我从第五十天
我post 到现在，我觉得我意之
在题起绮绮和我的爷爷。

我很久没更绮绮聊天了
我还己得我们就后一次聊天
是在她得生日前一天晚上
但是我们最后吵了起来。
就从那天起我就没有跟她
聊天。我以知想忘了她，
但是我着不道，我想进很多
办法来忘记她和说服我自己
和朋友的劝告，但是还是失败

我能感觉到她得心情,
她不开心的时候我就会
不知不觉得掉其眼泪，
而她开心的
时候我就觉得很清松，
我以前有喜欢
过别的女孩子
但是就是没有这总感觉，
和我都不明白
为什么会喜欢上她呢？
明明就是天意
而我就是没有
办法打动她的心。
我知道我不聊觉你
但是你都不给我机会
来聊觉你。Haizzz。

今天我跟一个男人聊天
他推我说着作人的道理
和神仙的存在，
但是我觉得神仙都不存在
和作人就是身老病死。
跟本就没有分配
和特别意义

我觉得我不因该在着
世界上，因为裉本
一点都不快乐，
而我还作了
很多错误的选着。

Haizzz 明天在Post

2009-11-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

11 day to ns

Well it's going to less than 2 weeks to ns. But i still cant find the mood to go in for my ns service. Maybe i had so much worry. And i know i had make so many mistake in the past. But i just cant forgive myslef for making so much mistake that i had done. I know every one will make mistake and that is the true. But my mistake is just like a long receipt. Totally lost counting.
But there are few point i must said it out at least i am trying to solve the problem that i had make in the past.

I cant forgive myslef for
1) not study well
2) treating my dad so bad.
3) never attend my grandpa last journey
4) doing a stupid appoach for love to qiqi.
5) never treat my friend well till make him join back company.

But there is still more mistake that i had make but cant solve it. I also a past counsellor and i use to counsel people but yet i also had so much problem. I know how to comfort them but the words always comfort them are the same but this words are always come out as the same as what my friend comfort me. So maybe its no use for me lor. But i know i must carry on my journey no matter what. And most important is past is past and now is now. So dont think back and carry on what u do and no more mistake anymore. And also must learn from mistake and dont commit again.

Hope can stop my mistake and move on

continue tomorrow

2009-11-22T02:16:00.002+08:00

17 days to ns

Well yesterday morning went to pray my grandfather 49 days but i freaking not happy with my family member. I just cant stand the way they treat my grandfather after he die 49 days ago and also my grandfather wills is getting messy.

First they didnt do their part as a children of my grandfather. And also never put in effort to do the prayer thing. they are just disobey the way they pray my grandfather. They was asked to gui in front of my grandfather but my aunt all just sit on the floor and the worst is the gold paper never fold it proper and just throw a bunch and burn it.. This is totally disrespect my grandfather and also no one wan wanted to take back my grandfather photo and pray...

I''m so disappointed my family so much till cant forgive them. i was so tired but i still went to pray him but mostly i was sleeping at the hall. but once they finish everything. the whole family start to qurral about the money and property. Made me so angry.

i just freaking angry and disappointed my family but hope someone can cool me down or else i will go and scold every single one of my family member. haha...

Continue Tomorrow

2009-11-22T02:14:00.001+08:00

21/11/09 Post
18 day to ns

Sorry for not posting for so long liao. Just dont feels of blogging because i had alot of problem in my mind and dont want to say it out. But i keep trying to cope it myslef because i dont wan to let my family worry about me.

Well i want to thanks my friend's alex and my sister , sister in law and friends for helping me , counsel me and encourage me so much when i so freaking no mood. Because of some unsettle problem.

Also i want to say sorry to qiqi for keep forcing u. And i know my mistake liao. I dont need u to accept my apologise because i know i had make a very big mistake.
And also i wan to say sorry to alex team blackzone fc, for playing rough againest u all during my off mood time. SORRY.

Well today is my grandfather 49day le. And the time has gone so fast but yet i cant forgive myslef. Just because i never attended my grandfather last journey. And i feels so disappointed myslef. I had so much pain during this three month. Bad news always come but no good news coming. I really need to relax myself now but i going ns soon so really make me so much pressure now.

I just feels so tired and sick now. I had not recover from my sick since last 2 weeks le.
But now i trying my best to forget all my en en yuan yuan and hope can speedy recover from my sick.

continue tomorrow

2009-11-16T23:06:00.001+08:00

Well today i had no event so spent all my time at home.

I havent receive my ntuc pay since 4th till now. Fcuking hell. I going to broke liao and yet they havent give me my pay. Forced me to stay at home. No money no enjoyable. Was planning to go clarke quay drink and have fun with frez but in the end. Cancel because no money go. Walao very angry lor.

I'm sick now. I have not been sleeping well for the past few day. And also never have long conversation with my mum. i now just feel like dying. Heavy flu with abit of fever and some stomach ache and dirrhoea. Feels of vomiting for a few time but always unsuccessful. I like started to be lazy liao. Hope can recover before i going to ns.

i just want to say sorry to my mum for treating her so 冷漠, for quite few day liao. i always reply her shui bian, orh. Is just like disrespect her lor. I just dont want to talk so much because i know i really have no mood to joke and laugh . I feeling sad but i dont wish to sad infront of you because i dont want u to worry. And i going ns soon but i always xin bu zai yan and fan bu xia.
First is my mum, second is qiqi.

let said my mum ba.
I know she cant take care herself because of her sickness (storke) since i'm pri 6 till now and yet my both sister also wont put in effort to take care of her. I know once i go in, she will easily get bully. And the worst is i know i dont trust her boyfriend as well. He freaking horny, even duo he is rich but i do not like him so much.

Second is qiqi
Haizzz dont said liao. I said le also heart broken. I dont know how many time i said liao also no hope. Even now i said my mum is sickness. This will make her more scare. LOL i know it because if im her. I also cant accept my another have so diffcult background. Because 9/10 girls also dont wish to have this kind of diffcult background. I dare to say it out because i do want to keep this secert anymore. No matter how i keep this secert also one day people will find out .

I had been stress since my mum have stroke because i know i must take care of her wherever i go. I just cant leave her alone. She really need me so much. I really hope it time for her to try to take care herself as im serving my ns.

Continue tomorrow

2009-11-16T01:44:00.000+08:00

22 day to ns

Sorry for not posting for so long as i really cant find the mood to post . Due to my ns getting nearer and nearer , and also trying my best to forget someone.

I keep trying to forget her, but once reach night i will start to dream her. Just because of this it's make me so irriated in my lifestyle now. I cant do whatever thing happily and enjoying. Let said today, i and my few friend playing pool. But i just cant find my enjoyable there and totally off form, in the end always lose badly. When i wanted to do something that make me enjoy, she always the one will remember in my heart and always spoilt my enjoyable.

Is this a hint for me or god is trying to play trick with me. What make me like her so much and put in all my effort on her leh. I really can't find my answer, it really a simple question but i just can't find the solution.
I really wish to forget her now because i know how much i put in on her, will just like a waste of effort. I know it a very diffcult task for me to 说服她 And win her trust on me. I also even know she have never treat me as a real friend but only net friend with full of confidential. So really i had try what my best on her liao. If there is a chance to turn back. I will wish to dont know her and never work in getai industry. Because of all this i now suffering more than what i expected.

I really cant find a way to stop thinking about her and it look's like i'm going to ns with a unwilling feeling. Because i really no mood on doing whatever thing. I will force myself to do it but always go through the limit. So i really need encouragement and motivation so at least i can 说服 Myslef to stop thinking about her.

Im freaking no mood to continue liao. But please if there is anything that i have done wrong or treating u 冷漠 and dont talk much in the conversation. I will say SORRY first. Becuase i really just cant find the mood to do whatever thing. I really need a medicine to cure my swollen feeling and a piece of heart that is broken into half now. I know there is a medicine that can cure me but it impossible to have it. Because i dont think that day will come.

Continue asap

2009-11-11T21:08:00.001+08:00

27 day to ns

I really hope the time can just stop right now. Because i really dont wish to go ns just like that. I havent finish enjoy my life as teenage and also havent fufill my wish.

Qiqi i dont mind u rude to me, dont respect me, say diao or lol , dont treat me as your friend, treat me 冷莫 and dont answer my question . It doesnt matter to me because i know i like u and that is what i choose and wont regert. But i really dont wish to see u suffer so much. I know i have no right to care about your business and your whatever now. But u always morning go study and night singing till 3am. Than next day morning 8am go back study. U doing all this sure will affacted your study and mei you jin sheng. Than in the end fall sick. So please to take care your health dont make me worry in camp when i serving my ns . I'm serious ok.

Also, u dont need to worry about your vote at stomp getai. I can promise u that u sure will win the top 10. I will always be there support u and vote U as many as possible. U can rejected me , u can say no to me and also dont care me. But i will still continue work hard and win your heart back.

Continue tomorrow, abit sick liao, keep stomach ache and dirrhoea. Should be food posioning ba because my mum also. And no mood. Hope can recover soon .

2009-11-10T20:24:00.000+08:00

28 day to ns

Well people had started saying about my english standard or etc. But i know im not so educated. And only holding nitec cert. But at least i try my best ok. And if u think your english very good than prove to me that u dont have any mistake and get 100 marks for your english lor. I dont said your name out but i know who are u.

Now i just freaking dissapointed myslef. Because i regerted so many thing. Now is study. LOL.
I dont know why i just cant put in effort on study leh. Only think about play game and soccer. If i can turn back early, at least now i at poly liao not just ite nitec.
I still know when i was sec 1 . I almost promote to academic course but just short of 0.4% to 75 . If that time i can put in more than what i expected. I should have study my poly for the first year now.

Maybe it's my family problem that makes me affected my study. I leave my dad when i just finished my PSLE. And i live with my mother but she just putting me so much pressure. Keep nagging me to study well. And just because of this, i had lost my feeling on study. Also she always like to compare my result with her friend son/daughter. This has make me more pressure. Because if i dont do well for my exam. I wont be able to get my free time to play and etc.

So i realised all my mistake and really hope can have a chance to study again. Well i had started preparing me private o level. Now i keep working hard on my maths and english. Because it's my 强 subject.
I really hope can get a good result and get a chance to study poly. This is my aim.

I know everyone will say.
Walao u wont make it wan
u dont waste your money and effort
u sure wont pass wan. U no hope liao
u want to go poly because u want to see qiqi
or because of qiqi.

But i wont be affected by all this comment. I will put in effort and aim to study as high as possible.

continue tomorrow

2009-11-09T19:20:00.001+08:00

29 day to ns

current song : 日不落 - qiqi
current mood: miserable

Sorry for not posting for this few day because too busy.

so fast left less than one month to ns liao. Today i feels so dissapointed for what i have done last time and i regert so much till i cant forgive myslef. My friend have bring me back my old memory. He scolded his father and also beat him infront of me. But i just cant do anything because i had no right to care about their family matter. This have bring me back my old time . When i was a child i also hate my father alot. Always scold and beat him just because he always drink beer too much and in the end come and disturb me at night when i was sleeping. But now i think back. I have regerted for what i had done to my father. i know is not right to beat your father because they are always the one bring u big and care about me. And even i need help he will always be there and help me.

I still know when i was primary 6 i was playing basketball with a bunch of kampong friend ... And in the end a guy body push me and i flew away right infront of my father. And in the end my father scold that guy and even also beat him till go hospital.

So i really hope my friend alex see my blog will realise his mistake for what u have done. Even how bad is your father even worst than what u expected. Please forgive him because without him, u wont be in this world. So appriciate your family and dont like me in the end regert it . So now i had started to bu chang my father for what i had done in the past. Till he leave this world because without him. I wont be able to come to this world.

So i really want to thanks my dad for your kindness and putting so much hope and effort on me.

Hope god can help this family bacause i really dont want to see the same as my family.

continue tomorrow

2009-11-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

32 day to ns.

Yesterday whole day at home lor... So boring. Very slack lor. But finally today go out. Haha watch football at jalan besar stadium. Lol last game dor this season lol. So sad so fast finish liao.

LOL... Haiz my time to ns is getting closer and closer liao. But still feeling not enough time enjoying. Alot of thing havent come true. But forget it lah. After 2 yrs maybe i will change alot lor. LOL. So i will start all my promise before i change to another person and broke my promise so please anyone see this and if i change to another person please must wake up me ok.

1) i promise myslef not to smoke and drink so much.
2) Not horny on all girl and also no geylang for me haha.
3) no influence with bad company outside or in the camp.
4) Earn more money and buy a condo at marina bay. Target in 5 years time.
5) Get a lincene and buy hyundai avante or toyota vios.
6) stay focus on work no dumpy and too slack. Must be committed.
7) have a better and enjoyable life. And also must be rich people.
8) cut down my investment on soccer betting.
9) treat my mother well and care her more.
10) Last most important. Prove to qiqi that she is wrong.haha. But i still that word. I will wait for her just because no matter what, no one will like me and also suit me except you.

By the way, i dont know why i will like you lor. I had been thinking all day long. Why i like you so much lol. First i dont know u haha. Second i only see your performance once. third dont know your character lol. maybe i just 知报知气 Ba. Because my last girl i like have bf liao. Eventually i want to give her a surprise at her birthday but after see her with her bf. I started angry myslef. But once i saw you. I started to slowly forget her liao. But in the end also 一场空. Maybe i can consider u save me and also hurt me ba. U save me just to forget her but u hurt me when u said no. Well i think u save me more than hurt me lol. But just want to say thanks.

that all i can said.
Continue tomorrow

2009-11-05T18:57:00.000+08:00

33 day to ns.

Current play song: Fall for you - secondhand sereade
Current mood : lonely

Haizzzz lol lor lah leh meh ba.... Just noting to describe. Too sian because no place to go liao. Dont know go where better. Always go out alone lor. Just freaking lonely lor. But it ok for me ba because i use to it liao. I now wish to change my bad habit and always stand straight even no one beside me or whatever because no matter what this fate lor. I have to admit it.

But i currently planning my future liao. But it only money matter to solve whatever thing. I whether spent my money alone now because even how rich am i also always lonely so doesnt matter save or dont save money liao. Currently thinking of taking car lincene after that buy a car. Well with my saving i think is enough for me liao. But hope can get it asap because can go out easily than dont need to squeeze bus or train liao. Haha kiasu sia lol.

Haizzz now resting at home. nothing much to say but let stop all my nonsense and move on ba hahahahah. Always stay relax and happy...

Continue Tomorrow

2009-11-04T12:00:00.001+08:00

34 day to ns

LOL going in soon liao. Maybe it time to forget all my thing and concernate my ns liao. Even how much i put in effort also a waste so whether use my remaining time on preparing my ns lor. 2 years is a very long years for me but what can i do lor. No choice lor. Just move on and forget all my thing but also qiqi lor. She wish or dont wish to like me also not the problem liao. Becuase i cannot force her to like me . Maybe fate ba. If she like me sure now we together liao. dont need to po po ma ma le lor. But i will still wait for her lor. Even 10 or 20 years later. Until she marriage liao than i si xin lor. i know sure will waste of time waiting but doesnt matter la. Because i know sure no one will like me. Haha maybe i ugly ba lor. but doesnt matter la. Hope i choose the right choice lor. Because i will always single and wait for her. LOL.....

Continue tomorrow

2009-11-03T20:06:00.000+08:00

35 day to ns.

Well kris even now i post what ever thing at my blog. No one also care and read it. Just because i not that popular and no one know i got blog. Other than adverties product and qiqi read my blog. No one will read my blog liao. So even how big i write or even make a giant poster also no one care lor. If u think this will affected her than i apologise lor. I dont know apologise her how many time liao. She also say nvr mind . So y u care so much about it. I dont want to said u ba gua or k po. Just because i not that type of person like to say people or bad word to other. I even care all my surrounding friend or etc. I also dont wish they can bao da me. I just wan to be a simple person and move on. So if u all really feels i affected qiqi than i said SORRY lor. I also working at getai so i also dont want people said bad about us. And also i'm a tan bai person and no lie to anyone so all word i said is a truth and no regert. But if u really not happy what i do, than u can don't read my blog. I whether write my blog to all the air other than anyone because no one care what i said or what i doing. Even u said around the world will read it. Haha i really will tell u this till now no one come to my blog even u see my hit counter. 80% is i view my blog other than that is qiqi . So writing 100million i love qiqi also nobody care lor.

i really dont wan to spoilt all my mood just because what u all comment or wat. But i just wish to thanks u all . At least u all spent time reading my blog and comment. At least u care your friend . But i will stop whatever nonsense soon just because my time spenting outside going to finish and i going to ns soon.. So i really hope can put all the en en yuan yuan aside and move on ok. if I post anything that harm anyone I will said sorry and i also dont need u all to accept my apologise. Just because i know is i done wrong. And not you or anyone fault ok. All my fault . Happy Liao ok.

Continue tomorrow

2009-11-03T20:05:00.001+08:00

2/11/09 POST
36 to ns liao.

So fast left 36 le. I feeling so sad just because i just cant grant my wish, i currently still aiming toward my wish. But yet she havent give me a define answer. But wish always a wish so it doesnt mean it will come true and sure the answer she will be saying is NO. So even i put how much effort also just a waste . But i just dont wan to be a piece of paper just flew off from her. But what can i do? Can anyone tell me or she can tell me what should i do than can persude her heart lor.

But always see her so sad or get bully . I just cant stand in front and help her. Because i always dont get chance to help or encourage her. And also of her parent accompany . So i dont wish to let her parent know about what happen between us. But it really there is a chance i sure help her even her parent is there becuase i dont torlenate bully. And i promise her to encourage and help as much as i still living at this world. Even we not couple but i will still 24/7 and help her wat ever she have any problem.

So hope god grant me my only wish. i will be very happy and i promise i will sacifrice everything for her. And also will treat her well and give her happiness. In my heart said and this is a promise. No regert and turning back. And this is what i choose and no more other people in my heart. She will be my one and only and also last. This will be swear And promise to the god.

Continue tomorrow

2009-11-01T20:06:00.001+08:00

37 day to ns.

LOL j u are just right. But i not just toking crap about love. Till now i always 被率 Not i 率 Girls lor. And i doesn't matter how bad she treat me or what . Because i not the kind of person always scold people or argue. i'm kind of relax and no bad influence person. So even people scold how bad about me i also doesn't care. But i now just left something that i had never do is to totally love into someone. Well pass is pass and now is now. So i can promise her that i will put 100% on her and not just love but also everything i can help and encourage her. I know i not anything or famous and rich but i dont care everthing and look straight into her.

And even friend also influence and encourage me to give up and find any other girl but i just said no and not even care it. This is because i finally found what i want and nobody can replace it. So how much effort i use i also wont regert. Because i choose it and i also mean it so hope pls dont stop me or encourage Me anymore. Because love in heart and not mouth tok and forget it.

But it doesn't matter how long i spent on effort but i really wish my effort can payoff into love.

Continue tomorrow. And thanks j for comment and encourage but i will still there battle for my right.

2009-11-01T14:06:00.003+08:00

31/10/09 Post

38 day to ns

Current song play : that why's
Current mood : miss her till cannot to sleep even now is going to morning liao.

Well now is 4.30am going to morning liao. Just finish working getai. Over night at my friend house.but cannot sleep so post it at hp and transfer to blogger. Just miss her so much lor. Today at a black cat team. We call 黑猫住合. And they sing yao ah yao. i just keep thinking and feeling that is she sing instead of black cat lor. And also ah mei 的都是你啊。all this is are qiqi song lor. Just keep imagine she sing lor. Haizzz i just now drink 6 bootle carlsberg lor haha half dozen lor. But i just 心反lor. But still finish the show. But i quite nice la overall. Everyone did well lor. Haha wonderful ending lor haha. 师以是阿南和林如瓶 And alot of good singer like bao en , lin pei yi , black cat team etc .... Lol just good ending la. I think this is the best among all lor and tai is huge lor...

that all i can say hope tomorrow had a good sleep and my heart will always with qiqi even in dream lor. Haha. And happy birthday Bizhen haha. Wsih u dream come true...

continue tomorrow

2009-10-30T08:35:00.001+08:00

39 day to ns

song played: zhe jiu shi ai ma.
Current mood: miss her so much even sleeping also dream about her

Well today i will be very busy because after work i will be working getai at defu lane. And after that going my friend house sleep. So wont be coming back till sat night lor. LoL cannot chat with qiqi and also no game play. So boring si lor. Haizz but doesnt matter la. But she will be very happy because i wont fan si ta. Haha

Well i now listening to qiqi blog song. It really very nice and meaningful lor. It really saying about me lor. just na de qi fan bu xia and also ba si wan dan zhou ai. But i can tell u this i 100% pure like you lor. I not just joking because i dont play and say joke. I take everything seriously. Even duo i not so educated. And i really mean it. But the time i left to prove it is getting lesser and lesser but after training i got my spare time so i really hope all my 100% spare time i will spent it on you. So i just wish this wont waste my effort on you.

That all i can said continue tomorrow

Sherraine Law Shi Ying I Love U. And i really mean it...

2009-10-29T22:41:00.001+08:00

40 left to ns

LOL........ So fast seh. I want to spent all my 40 day outside from today onward. But going out alone is so sian lor... Who can accompany me leh. Haizzzz haha. Forget it than.

Well miss qiqi at getai so much after last week perform at rivervale. But looking forward to sunday but she never told me the place she will be performing lor. Aiyo forget it than. But i also miss her lor. hahaha. So moody now. And very fan . Just get scolded by my mother lor. She keep nagging about my resign and about my father lor. Fukcing hell lor.very annoying lor. Now is 2pm in the afternoon on the way to go out. just because of annoying mother keep nagging. i cant take it anymore lor. Maybe i use my ns time stay camp at weekend whether than go back. So scary lor see her always say and care all my thing lor. Haizzz so fan and irriating lor . This still ok, lor the worst is my father and mother just like 反对弹 lor. Keep saying bad about each other. Haizzz very fan lor.

Haha. i really need someone to comfort me lor. or else i going to crazy liao, just because of family matter lor.haizzz dont want to say anymore liao so fcuking no mood and very fan.
Continue tomorrow

2009-10-28T17:58:00.001+08:00

41 day to ns...

Well i today try use chinese to blog to u all ok.

今天的心亲不是说很好、因为我想连绮绮。不过我在这样想连她也没用、因为她从来都不说敢清。haizzzz... 我自胜41 天就要当兵了。我真的放不下她、但是每一次题道敢清她就会说我们子可以着pure friend时我敢到很伤心。她还说我进去但兵、我会变。我觉得她说的有道理、但是我不是那么花吃的男人、而我可以对天发事。不过我知道我不能免强你喜欢我。所以我会用真成的心去敢动你的心。

我知道我的华语不是很好、但是我会进力说出我的敢言。所以情结掴和不要笑我、谢谢。

continue tomorrow

2009-10-26T19:18:00.001+08:00

43 day to ns
Current playing music: Luo Yi Qi(qiqi)- Yao ah Yao
Current mood: Somewhat disappointing

Well time had past so fast. I left 43 day to enjoy before going ns. Currently feeling sad. Because i enjoy alone instead enjoy with my another part. Feeling so lonely. But yeah i still enjoy it even duo never enjoy my time with her. Because time is just like cloud. Pasting from one end to another. So let it be lor. my muscle had not recover but i started light exercise liao. So hope can recover before i go in for ns.

Well for qiqi i really enjoy your performance last saturday even duo i miss football match but still worth it lor. Because she sing her best 4 song out and the best is she improve singing hokkien song wor.... Hahaha work harder ok. JIAYOU........ Hope can see u perform soon. But haizzz at that time i will be botak liao. Hahaha ugly man lol.... Not handsome anymore :( . Hahaha. But doesn't matter la. Just hope got chance can team up together and i will give my best shot on sound and light. And u give me a best performance ok. lalalalalala hahahaha.

That all continue tomorrow.

Haizzz muscle still pain lor. Omg need more rest and excerise liao. Hahaha see you.

2009-10-25T07:16:00.002+08:00

44 day to ns.

Sorry for not posting yesterday... haha too busy..because i work until 4pm. After that went to rivervale drive and watch getai... Yeah but in the end late because my leg was injured and cannot walk faster so haiizzzz late but doesn't matter i never miss out qiqi singing haha.

Well she sing very well but it the sound system fault that in the end spoilt the whole event. The sound is so awful and also too soft till can't hear properly. but cannot blame them becuase the event is so huge till 3 event is carrying at one place. the dinner, getai and a special moive show just beside getai. LOL totally not fair lor. The movie show blast louder than getai... Haiizzzz doesn't matter.

She sing first song is a hokkien song called ho sei liao than second is her best hit yao ah yao than 3rd is chi dao and ending in hokkien techno call from far and wide power. LOL haha 4th song dont know wat but pronoun in english is like that lor...

Aiyo now my tight muscle so cramp and also my leg muscle so soft like one jelly liao... SO painful, going to see doctor and do some threpy soon... Should be gg liao hahahahaha...... And qiqi doesn't matter what u do i also will be there supporting u so just enjoy your time at stage lor... But still well done. LOVE to see u at stage again.. And don't dissapoint me. And also keep working hard and learn more new song ok.. Hahaha because always these few song bei sian meh lor... hahaha pai seh hor... hope see u singing at stage again.

Continue Tomorrow

2009-10-23T21:47:00.001+08:00

46 day to ns.

Well today i feeling so sad. But properly quite well.

today is my last week working at fairprice. Haha and also wish to thanks to all of them for the jacket and a wish card. Really hope can work with u all again. Well spenting over 8 month working and joying together. I really appriciate every single sec at working place. But i just want to wish u all the best. And dont forget me hor... Hahahahaha.

And today, playing soccer with friend. But injured myslef lor. I think my leg muscle had tare liao. Very pain sia. And also some bruise and pon par bcos i bear foot lor. Maybe must do some therepy and massage to relax my leg muscle. Wah very very pain lor. now pai car liao. Hahaha dont know can work tomorrow anot. Aiyo

Well qiqi nvr chat with me last night. But doesnt matter hope she enjoy her life can liao and maybe tomorrow i going hougang and watch her getai. Even duo i injured my leg but i will still go hahaha.

Continue tomorrow

2009-10-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

47 day to ns.

Wa time go so fast seh. Haizzz. Wish faster resign and rest. So tired, moody , sad. Like retarded sia.

Haha qiqi ya pure friend ok liao. No more nonsense from me anymore. I won't tok about it again. I respect you ok. I shui bian. But i will still want to said. I will prove you wrong.

Continue tomorrow. nothing much to say. Just feels so moody and sad. And don't ask me why. Because i just dont want to answer.

2009-10-21T21:25:00.000+08:00

48 day to ns.

Well i quitting my job soon tomorrow onward will be my one last week working. Just want to thanks all my colleague for your treating me so good till i nothing to say. Haha very best of luck to you all. Hope can work with u all again....

Hahahaha. I started feel so moody. And borring. My mum keep hesitate me of everything and also care all my thing. Feels so annoying. Like no freedom. Work , study , playing even eating also she must care so much than now money. Siao liao la. Going to be crazy liao. I just feel of going out and don't go back home anymore. Hey not li jia chu juo ok. Is just dont go home so early. Maybe i quit my job liao than planning go out late. Because too much pressure at home la.

Qiqi i think u are right. Maybe i come out ns will be another person. Really very riskly. So i shui bian lor. But u don't need to waste your time anymore lor. If got good guy just go ahead. I won't jealous. Because no point to be jealous. I just 说便说便 lor. Bo bian because my 星坐 is virgo than always shui bian lor. This is fate, and it cannot be change. But if i never change than pls just give me a chance ok. This is my only 请求.

Hope u can reply me Yes/No. but i really wish to hear yes. Haha but i know than chances is 1million no to 1 yes. just comment it at my cbox can liao

Continue tomorrow.

2009-10-20T22:03:00.002+08:00

49 day left to ns

Currently feels my health condition getting worse. I think i should do more exercise right now. But this is really not my concern, i only concern is qiqi. I was thinking when i go ns. Our contact time will go longer. And time spent on chatting will get lesser. I really don't wish to keep this kind of long journey . Maybe this is fate ba. And also time working at getai is equal to 0Min. Haizzz ns make me scrafice so much. HOPE she can reply me asap.

Even through i give u my hp number i also know u won't sms because this is just such a stupid choice. If u sms me i will have your number.But i still hope can receive your sms when i serving my ns but sure is impossible. So just forget it lor. It doesn't matter. Let just be pure fwen as what u said. I really don't want to be just pure fwen but aiyo never mind lor. I just wish soon or later can from pure fwen to couple. Haha imagination too good hahaha.

Continue tomorrow.

2009-10-19T20:21:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. Just feels very tired, because watch football game haha and also do some chatting at msn.

Well i know that it not easy to win someone heart but times come, mircale will happen and maybe i will win the war. It the same as playing football. If u put a effort to play than your confidence will be more and in the end u might win the match.

I know u had a diffcult background that make u lose confidence and also lose of love. But i also had this background too. my dad is a big beer drinker and does not go out to work. And always ask money from my mother. I also lose alot but i told myself i won't do the same mistake as what my dad do. Well is not easy because people always said got father than got son. But i really think that it not the true. I totally different. I'm a kind of working siao,and the only thing i do is just play football. i know im not up to standard but i still proving myself that i can do it to the national team. And that is my target.

So i really hope qiqi u can put everything aside and just continue what u do and aim for your target and mostly don't forget i will always at your back supporting u wherever u are and wherever u do.

2009-10-18T09:57:00.000+08:00

Well i had lost count for my grandfather at heaven but nvr mind i will just continue post and hope he at heaven will know it.

So she had come back from china after 22 day. But i know she will be shock after reading my blog or etc feeling. i know u will said 'who the hell are u' but it okay. Let slowing know each other. Well when i started working at getai sound and light system with my friend. The place is at prinsip street near sim lim square, i had never thought that i will be very enjoyable working at getai, just because i had a bad impression last time. And it was totally make a fool of myslef. When the first time watching getai and paya lebar temple. I was sitting near the speaker and once it finish my whole face turn green and very dizzy. That was a very bad impression for me at getai. But once i regain my confidence , my friend ask me to work at getai so i accepted.

Sherraine if u can remember the getai at prinsep street. I was the one sitting close to the stair that going up the stage. Yeah the want wearing black cap. Well if u don't remember doesn't matter. Just make it past tense.

If u don't mind can u send me your schedule and time and venue when u will be singing at getai . So if i had free time can come and watch u singing. But i know i don't have so much time left because i will going to ns but hope i will enjoy your performance before going in to serve my ns.

That all u can said but really scare u so much . I will said 100 million sorry.

2009-10-17T22:26:00.003+08:00

16/10/09 POST
Well today is week 1 for my grandfather at heaven.

I had so many bad news coming but no good news

1) my grandfather pass away 1 week ago
2) my sister at hospital, still havent discharge
3) last saturday i send my mother to hosptial because she keep vomiting and dirrhoea and yesterday morning discharge.
4) i receive my ns enlist letter already. Ahhhhh POLICE. Enlist on 8/12/09.

Haizzzz so many bad news. I going to be crazy liao. but i hope someone can solve my problem but yet she still havent come back from china. Well is sherraine qiqi. I think she will be back to singapore on the 17(tomorrow) or sunday 18. But she sure not free because monday poly sch reopen liao. And she still got singing practice and also sometime go run getai. Sure she very busy women. Aiyo why keep say her leh. she also dont know me, haha but never mind la. Just concern about her. And i started everyday listen her song, the song that she sang When she is performing at getai i convert the video to mp3 and put it inside my phone. Total got 11 song but really thanks to youtube goodisoon73 which he video and upload it into the youtube.thanks goodisoon73.

That all i can say. But qiqi all the post that i wrote had harm or scare u . I will apologise first. SORRY.......

2009-10-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday POST 14/10/2009
Grandfather at heaven for the 4th day

I was so busy today, because i after work i went to sgh to see my sister. After visiting her. I took mrt to choa chu kang and watch sleague. Haha maybe it boring but i enjoy it.

Well i miss qiqi so much. But she at china so never posted her blog. But i had try to pray for her everyone day and just hope she can come back asap. And safety.

Currently feels so no mood. Nothing much to tok about and feels so tiring. And hope thrusday my off day can rest more and have more energy for next challange.

That all i will continue tomorrow. Hope qiqi and my grandfather well bless.

2009-10-12T23:13:00.000+08:00

Grandfather at heaven for the 3rd day.

Yesterday i should post but i was too busy with my stuff. Well everything is fine for me in the past 2 day. But i still miss sherranie qiqi and grandfather. Don't know whether my grandfather use to it at there anot. Haha even duo got my grandmother accompany but i still worry him. Hope he can reply me but i know is impossible . Just hope he is fine.

As sherraine qiqi, i know when she come back from china , the next day sch reopen liao. Sure she will be very busy with her stuff and singing practice. But i just hope she can cope and rest well. Don't get too stress and take care your health. Even we don't know each other now. but i will pray in my heart and hope u will be well on everything. Doesn't matter we are friend or not, i will still always the one give you all the blessing and happenies.

That all i can said just hope everything go fine to everyone but mainly to my grandfather and sherraine qiqi. Gold bless you.....

2009-10-11T10:18:00.000+08:00

Today is my grandfather at heaven for the first day. And i will continue post for the rest of my time spent in the earth.But i just wish my lovely grandfather know my happening everyday.

I now is so sad because i didn't turn up when he is dying. And when last thrusday i went to his funeral, my xiao ku told me my grandfather was waiting for me to come and he waited me almost 5hours but i still never turn up. In the end he passed away with saddness. And today is his last trip and yet i late. Now i really feels very sorry for him but i know that even now i said 100million sorry also can't pay back . I also don't dare to stand infront of the family now because i give them so much bad impression.

I really miss my grandfather but also wish to thanks him for caring and alot of hardwork and also encourage me when i feel sad. Without him maybe i sure will get scolded and beaten but my parent. In my heart u are my best grandfather ever in my life.

Grandfather i love u..........

Well everyone know bizhen had boyfriend liao. So just want to wish her happiness and i should go for another love. And right now i had another lover liao. But currently not friend yet but hope can be friend first . Even through we dont know each other but i got a feeling that she is my choice . But right now she is at china holiday for 22day . I still miss her so much. And i everyday listen to her song. haha she is a getai singer.

I know u all will said whatever thing but i not that kind of person. I like her becuase of feeling and her beautiful voice. Make me so relax and full of enjoyable. Haha ok la tell u her name is sheranine qiqi. Even through she is more educated and taller. But i still hope she can give me a chance. Haha.

That all i can say hope grandfather and qiqi a every bless of everything wherever they are and also dream come true.

2009-09-17T01:25:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone this few day always had a gd dream just don't know Why? But this just dream don't know whether can come true anot. I just feels can i dream and don't wake up anymore bcos it very sweet dream.

Yesterday was so tired during working time. So many thing need to do and today still come all the offer stock wa sian so many stock will come. Headache...

But tomorrow off yeah can enjoy again. But need to go ite register after that maybe go relax walk around. Got a feeling going vivo and relax myself but see first lor.

Well left 3 day to end 7th month . Wa one long month very tiring n alot of work so stressful. But i got feeling that i going to sick liao maybe too stress until sick just hope don't affect my work.

That all i really feels sick now. I need to have a good rest now. PEACE....

2009-09-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not posting in the past 2 day bcos i so tired that why i sleep early.
Thing going good for me but i still hope it can be wonderful. Haha

Last sunday went to bowling again haha i finally get the score i wanted and took a photo of it.

After bowling i quckly rush back home to watch live game. Lucky just in time.

Yesterday night i had a very sweet dream and i really hope this dream can come true.
Haha but cannot tell you my dream story but it really very very sweet. But wasted is just dream haizzz.

Today still need to work just hope time can go faster and end my work quckly. In fact i really don't like to work but no choice if i don't work i will feels bored at hm so nvr mind lor go work. Can spent my time more and also can earn money haha.

I planning next years go back study but still don't know what course should i take haizzz headache. Must register before my army enlist me. Aiyo going to no time liao. Next thrusday going ite register liao. But still hope i take the course i want bcos i regerted once so i wish don't to be twice.

That all hope u people a happy sweet dream like me haha.

2009-09-12T19:48:00.001+08:00

Well 7th month still left 1 wks. Everything will get back as usual. Currently spent most of my time ot working and sometime go getai. Now feels every sleepy.

Now i started use my handphone and do my blog. Just bcos got mircosoft word at phone so i can transfer it instead type it in the blog and it so lag. Haiz, sian....

And today got football yeah. can watch but don't know whether going getai or watch.
Headache..........

Now my mum no more working. everyday at hm. Aiyo sian see her everyday. Now i started go out everyday to prevent any qurrel and any scolding. Hope she can get a job soon so i peaceful at hm haha.

Lucky today don't need ot so can go hm rest and also i tomorrow off haha. Going yishun safra bowling and also gathering with old classmate . But now feels bored and tiring bcos no one can accompany me haha. Yeah.

That all hope everyone a blessing sweet dream.

2009-09-11T20:48:00.000+08:00

Today everthing go smoothly for me.
But i feels that i had something that i had left out in my life. Maybe i don't derserve it or what. But everytime see people have the enjoyable and happiness and my heart will feels so bitter. Life can change but why heart can't change. Maybe this is fate and in fact this word 'LOVE' is not an easy word to some of them. But is easy to feels it and hard to say it out. And when this word came out from our mouth, the percentage of sucess is only less than half. So why our heart always risk us from saying it. Maybe it time for me to stop my imagination and concernate more on other else and also spent more time at working.

Well yesterday when to yishun. Meet my frez and frez army frez. Before that we went to safra play bowling. Haiz my score was so badly only manage to get 114，115，110 and 132. But i will try harder this sunday. I will be playing again . Haha you all will think i siao bowling. Well i not is just bcos i long time nvr play and also just gathering with old classmate. After bowling we went to arcade at north point. Haiz so borling watch them play haha bcos i feel arcade is waste of money so nvr play. After that we go walk around and go home.

Now i start to feel bored bcos my psp spoilt liao . Aiyo no more psp play. But hope can get another want soon.

That all i can do about it
hope everyone a blessing and wonder sweet dream.

2009-09-07T19:59:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone. I'm quite busy for this few wks bcos of 7th month but i still hope time can pass faster so that i can go back my old life. Well i missed teacher's day celebration and also missed gather with my ex classmate just bcos i can't get my working leave. Now still thinking what should i buy for my ex teacher. Two present will be given to my lovely teacher but don't know what they like. Haiz..... Now just concernate my work and no time thinking of other but i wish to have someone can accompany me bcos i now feels so boring and no life.

And last few wks work getai have taken some photo and also know some singers haha. But nvr take photo with them instead i took photo of them so enjoy it. Hope can work permently so can watch and also listen some of the beautiful song sang by getai singers. Also i now start to listen hokkien song.

1st Getai At ang mo kio tech park 1

Host by bao bei jie mei

The middle Stands

2nd getai At Geylang Lor 23

Don't know her name

Host by Him
Chen jian bing

Another photo of him

Our food Whoa..

I so happy bcos eating with Chen jian bing and all singer

come along and sit with us haha. so excited

Haha my drink

Guess is what???

Haha it's Carlsberg

NICE...

Side stands

A singers but don't know her name ps.

Another photo of her

One More

My Frez and also my working company

Middle Stands View

CHEN JIAN BING

haha old cow

middle stand 2

That all hope u enjoy it

And wish my dream come true.

Love someone but will not be mention
Love you forever

Hope have a unforgettable day tomorrow

2009-08-26T20:11:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone currently busy working and also helping out with my friend company
Doing 7th month getai sound and lighting system. At the back of the stage.

Yeah i sure know wat will u be thinking off
1) Got took any photo with them.
Haha and the answer is nnnnnoooooooooo. wish too but i had no time asking haha.
Hope can take photo with them soon but really imposssible.

And if u people don't know tomorrow is my birthday.Yeah finally 18 but i still feels is a very worst years for me.
1)Because 18 is the age to army . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
2) No accompany. Feels so lonely
3) 1 years older liao so sad.

Just hope god give fate and soon can dream come true.
Well i don't have any WISHES but just hope world peace.
And tomorrow my birthday still need to work and also night getai
Maybe it so busy for me tomorrow so not going to celebrate my birthday.

Aiyo haizzzz bo bian so let it pass lor.....
Life so hard and boring.

Last few week, there is a guy keep coming to my house and said about christian thing and also told me about what is purpose of life. Well i always said life is boring and useless. but they keep saying there is purpose of life.
But always people said life born, get old , than get sick and last die, in chinese pronous (sheng,lao,bing,ci).

Well i don't really give a damm of it. if i'm short life and only it fate and also we can't change it or write off it. So just take it easy and move on.

That all i can said hope tomorrow chave unforgettable day of me but its 100% impossible.
Just forget it.

Take Care
God Bless Everyone
PEACE......

Treated Unhuman Being and Working Disappointment

2009-08-03T18:54:00.005+08:00

Well everyone i'm back haha just feels boring so blog u all my happening
I will so frustrated first is my mum second about my bonus salary.

As u all know i injured my knee so i can't walk properly but my mum is so cute. Ask me to go see doctor myself . I feels so angry as she now put her work at first instead of me. Now she think i'm just her dog now.the worst is i fall down a few time and no one help me. I really feels sad but she never said good thing about it instead come and scold me."WHY can't u walk properly to clinic and always keep falling down. u are not children anymore don't always ask me to help u as u know i so busy about my work".

Now i still think am i her kin son, am i born by her stomach, am a person or dog.

So angry man, don't know how i feels when i need help. I feels like crying the whole night. and put all my heart broken life all tears out from my eyes.

And now about my bonus. I had a make a biggest mistake by joining ntuc fairprice i feels that their pay is so low and bonus the worst. I thought this bonus and give me buy my favourite ps3 but now haizzzz so sad, i can't buy it now. I really want it but not enough money buy. Always said want to save but in the end all spent on house bill.

WISH CAN HAVE IT

I still know when i started my work my mum told me "Once u work i will never ask u to pay house bill, my hp bill and etc". but now 360 degree turn . i had to pay everything. Wa lao really can't tolerate my mum anymore. If she continue ask me the paid like that sure one day i will die without money.

I really need MONEY MONEY MONEY. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Haiz think also no use.

That all. hope i can get more money and come to my pocket haha

God Bless Everyone.

My hard time in life

2009-08-01T19:53:00.005+08:00

Well sorry for not posting for so long...

I have been sick since yesterday and i also injured my leg yesterday when playing football
Now i feels like dying but i just hope my time don't stop so fast bcos i hadn't feels of dying and also alot of thing haven't do yet.
But now i really scared i get h1n1 but till now i had not go to see doctor.

Just see how lor... I feels so headache and alot of stress .

First is working , 2nd is At home
working time is so stress and my supervisor and manager always put so much pressure on me.Ask me do so many time at one time..SOmetime also skip my lunch until 2pm than eat....So tiring and another is the auntie tay...always like to scold people .COrrect also scold wrong also scold . i think she got mental problem. but no choice lor give her scold .

At home my mum keep nagging me just bcos i never do housework and pay bill.

My salary only 650 too 700 how can i pay the whole thing and also i got scv and internet must pay... than i dont need to save money liao lor and dont need to eat lor..Be GOd lor.

Aiyo i now very headache and stress .don't konw wat to do. maybe once i really big sick than they will know wat good about me.Haiz just hope can recover soon. i now very sian and no strength and leg so crump bcos of injury .

I really as the same as people going to die.

Hope GOD can save me bcos i still got alot of thing havent do pls save me.

let u see my leg injury but it will be disgusting so if u cant take it pls dont see.

2009-06-28T21:28:00.003+08:00

Very Sorry everyone i'm too busy working so never blog

i always spent my day and time working so lazy to blog.

Well i think everyone know what happen to MICHAEL JACKSON.

He is my favourite singer when i was young and i very shock when the news come out on tv.

Some memorable song that he sing is really nice and wonderful.

This are the song i like it so much

Black and white

Billie Jean

Don't Stop till u get enough and

THE BEST is

we are the world

But life is so unfair to everyone.Once it go won't return and unreplaceable

So i hope after time we will still remember the famous singer and first pop star

MICHAEL JACKSON

RIP

2009-03-13T09:08:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone i'm back.

So long never post liao... Sorry I'm busy Working...

Or Yes i finally got job liao. I now working in the ntuc fairprice

at Cambridge Road. Hey don't get wrong thinking it not at UK ok

is SINGAPORE cambridge road just behind farrer park primary school.

Yeah feel free come and support me . i will always at there. But for discount sure dont have nah..

Maybe got discount but only i'm the boss hahahah...

Now harly got time play soccer already. Maybe it time to hang up my boot and think for other path. But it not easy to ask me to change the path. It really need sometime.

Yeah my pay coming on april

My first pay i will buy alot of thing.

1) Clear my boardband bill

2) Buy a new phone NOKIA 5800

3) Subcribe back my scv

hooohoo

But yesterday totally back luck man

First early in the morning wake up go bang wall. Second my com not workinhgg until i restart 4th time. Third the worst my handphone suddenly fly into the Toliet bowl...OMG my LG Viewty RIP liao. Than want to go vivo fix phone than the serviceman said drop into toilet bowl no warrently liao. Need to pay 270 dollar to fix SWAY. The last my hp elerectical circuit go into my hand than when ever i touch the iron pole or electrical thing i will feel the electrical shock. So scary man. I totally sway 5 thing at one day... Really pocket got hole and all my body got hole also. VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY SSSSSSWWWWWWWWAAAAAAYYYYYY..............................

That all i need to prepare for work today...

Hope can blog soon.

TAKE CARE

God Bless Everone

2009-02-19T00:33:00.002+08:00

Well now i feeling so confuss after grads ITE Nitec...
Now thinking back to last years i really regert didn't study hard.
Than was decided to come out to society and work but just no faith to get a job
on going so many interview and asking till now . it almost 2 1/2 month liao.
I'm still jobless for me.
And now everyday keep quarreling with my mum just because of no job and never study hard.
But now thinking twice maybe my mum said it right.
I didn't study hard and lazy to do whatever thing.
Maybe i should do a 360 turns and find my new path.
And now i should planning go back study but all the ite course doesn't suit me
So what should i choose?????????????
No interest no passion no future
And even my ambition also gone far away from me already.
Fails to get in the football trial, now no club, no football = no dream , no future planning
Maybe all this is just fate for me.
Whatever i do will never get it

That why people always said LIFE is so selfish even a chance also cant get into it.
When there is a chance u wasted it
But when there is no chance than u regert it.
This story is really true.

Maybe i should listen my mother friend said in chinese "hou dao lao xue dao lao yi hou chu chee zao gong mei fan nao" it mean getting old learn till old when next time go out find work no worry.

So any suggestion for me what course should i study because i got alot of "fan nao" choosing a course.

And about my ambition maybe i should put a little less hope
But just hope maybe one day this ambition come true again.
And i will never give up hope and continue look forward to one of the day when it come true.

GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND AROUND THE WORLD

2009-02-11T09:05:00.004+08:00

Hi everyone i'm back it has been almost 2 month never blog already.

But i feeling bored now so i will blog today

Wellllll sleague is going to start on 16 Feb but the good news is

This years all the teams get to travel instead of Home and SAF travel for AFC

And DPMM let all the team to go their country to play their away game there

WOW, it a really good idea by the sleague but still got little too conveinent now

because HOME United will move to Clementi Stadium..

So SAD can't get to watch all game.

And sleague will start with the same community shield on the 12 Feb tomorrow at Tampines Stadium. It the Sleague Singapore Player VS SLeague Forgien Player.

Please come and support them and also must support my brother LUDO ok.

He will be playing for SLEAGUE FORGIEN so hope he can do all the best.

As for myself i had been rest for couple of month . But finally found a job but still not confirm because i will go going for football trial and see the caution first.

And i had stop futhering my study so don't ask me are u still study ok.

My target right now is to get in the trial and win a spot for myself than have a contract from the team.

Because my passion is play football together with my brother LUDO.

Hope this dream can come toward me asap .

And also wish everyone a happy VALENTINE day

God Bless everyone

2008-12-06T20:33:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone

Long time didn't post liao

haha

to busy

And sorry that i promise u all

to post Ludovick win the award so now i will post

And a latest news to all sleague fans

i had created a sleague team at

PRO EVOLUTION SOCCER 2007 (PSP VERSION)

i created seen two years ago but didn't upload to u all

and now i had uploaded

and also updated all 2008 season player

this is the link

http://uploading.com/files/7O60EJAO/ULUS101690013000.rar.html

Hope everyone enjoy it and give comment ok.

That all i can said hope everyone a happy bless CHIRSTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARS

2008-10-28T01:18:00.003+08:00

I Wish to thanks
all my friend for voting
my brother
Kengne Ludovick
as your people choice award
I really appriciate
and pls continue to support him
and also ask all your friend , classmate, teammate
to vote for him
I just wish to see him win
the
People Choice Award
and if he win i will post
the photo of him
when he get the award
I promise u all
And as for Chelsea
It so disappointed
After 4 and the half years
and 87 home games
they finally lose at home ground
and it was liverpool destroy it
The Final Score
Chelsea 0 Liverpool 1
score by Xabi Alonso
So sad...
It a worst time for me
and also the first time so sad
since the first day i support CHELSEA
And also Home United lose
to Woodland
The Final Score
Woodland 2 Home United 1
Woodland scorer: Park Tae Won and Akihiro Nakamura
Home United scorer: Shi Jia Yi
very sad
Hope their last four game
they can win till the end
I really hope CHELSEA and HOME UNITED
can win the title

2008-10-28T00:45:00.009+08:00

And as for me

i just hoping my ambition and

dream can come true soon

After this year break Next year

i will push myself harder

and also force myself go

all the football trial

without any laziest

Because only this will make my ambition and dream come true

So i must said to myself

" Benny Push Harder and Aim for your ambition"

That all i can said i will start my ambition from now

I will start my fitnest training

from tomorrow and till next year because

i want to pass the beep test

My target is

1) Succes in trial

2) Play in professional football club

3) Pass Beep Test level 13.0

This is all my target for next Year

Just hope i can do it

because my mum always said

"Don't ever give up even you are force to do because

it your future and don't waste your chances"

I will always remember this word

OK That all i can say

Hope i will post to you all soon

God Bless Everyone

and

Good Night

2008-10-15T19:51:00.003+08:00

To all my reader and friend

Pls vote

for my favourite player

and also my brother

Kengne Ludovick (Home United)

Pls vote for him Thanks

2008-10-11T01:30:00.007+08:00

Hi Everyone

Finally Post

Haizzz Holiday is so boring

Nothing to do

and

Feel like a pig at home

Eat, Play, Sleep

Now my size is totally like pig liao

Going to diet when sch reopen

Yeah

After 3 week of holiday

finally this monday sch reopen

but bad news is i'm sick right now

and 3 week no exercise

feels like so sian

Hope can recover soon

SO let talk about sch reopen that i wish to do

1st: Join the bowling as my 2nd cca

2nd: Back to full fitnest and go back soccer training

3rd: Try to get closer to ........

Sorry this is secert cannot tell

Just hope ..... can give me a chance

I really missed .......

haha don't tell you all...

So let tell u a story about me

i had done the most regert thing that i ever done is

doing a thing that never think twice

just because a one small thing, U will make a person feels bad

about you...

Because i had this regert feeling

1st is plan had been destory without second thought

2nd is never thing about people felling and just do it

3rd is making a decision wrongly

So i hope all of my reader

can think twice and don't go the same road as me

because once u do it .U will never turn back..

Let said about my regert

I did a thing that never think twice.

And this is true story about me

1st :

i brought a thing but never told that person

and end up get scolded and ignored me once

that person saw me...

I know this is a wrong choice but once it done

the history will never go back.

2nd:

Is never thing twice

straight away goes into a wrong road.

Without any thinking

End up make a person get scolded

because of my appear

So please everyone don't ever

do the same thing as me

I had regerted and also so disapointment

but all those thing had been turn into pass tense

Hope that the person that i mention

u will know who u are

I just want to

Apoloise to u

I'M SORRY..

BUT

I know one word apologise

is not enough

to pay all the thing that i had done

But this is the only way i can do to u all

HOPE u can accept my apologise

That all about me and if u all read this

please don't ask me the 5w in front of me

5w is WHAT,WHY,WHEN,WHERE,WHO

i don't want to answer u people

because i don't want to tell u who are they

because this is secert.

OK Take Care Everyone

God Bless U

2008-09-14T01:36:00.005+08:00

To all High School Musical and Camp Rock Fans

This is some game that i found

is a jigshaw puzzle

Hope u all can beat my record both 5min .

Enjoy it

2008-06-05T01:37:00.002+08:00

Yeah finally
Finish exam liao
All my stress gone
LOL.....

It so tired today....
After my last exam
i went back and sleep
till 5pm
U can expected i start sleeping
at 11 am to 5pm
OMG
It so freaking tired

But now cannot sleep haizzz.
One month break
Very sian lol
nothing to do...
Maybe going to find job...
Yeah Earn money to buy a laptop
...Yeah
Hope can earn it asap
Really hope can buy laptop soon...

I can't wait until 25 June bbq
It will be very enjoyable
And
Also 7 June EURO 2008

Going to start torn until midnight
for the game..

Ok that all i can said
I will going to update all the EURO 2008
Result and New to everyone
Hope u all will like it

Don't miss it...
To all the soccer fans

2008-05-23T15:22:00.003+08:00

YO EVERYONE
I'm back
Wow wow wow
after 2 week never blog
i now finally back man

I so busy do my thing
and project i finally free
now but i still got exam in 2 week time
haiz sian man
Exam EXAM EXAM
so boring

I spent my last two week
in school doing work and project
it so busy BUT all this has gone
Yeah...

I miss sleague so much...
I had not been to any stadium
for the past 2 week
the last game i watch is at hougang stadium
between sengkang vs tampines
eventually my former club lost
by penalty sway ...

Never mind i going to stadium tomorrow
as sengkang vs saf at hougang
finally i'm back to my favourite sleague
before that i will be at home watchng the live game tonight

As for yesterday My favourite club home united lost
oh man
So disappointment
It ok still got long way to go
So come on Home U
u all can do it....

I also never meet Ludovick for so long already
i'm so busy even a time to talk also don't have
but i just now just called him
Yeah that what i said i'm back to business

Haha
Maybe i going to meet him tomorrow
woo-hoo
Hope i really can get the time meet him
because maybe we are going to stadium together
but nothing is confirm yet

So that all i can said maybe tomorrow i will continue
but see i got time anot lor...

Take care and God bless everyone
PEACE

IN MY BLACKLIST

2008-05-12T17:53:00.003+08:00

Hi Everyone

Yeah ....
Today i soooooo angry man
There is a new name on my blacklist
after 4 month at ite
this is the second teacher is in
my blacklisted
First is Miss Nelly
OSA Teacher of my class
and now
This teacher
Mrs ???(don't know her lah)

She and Miss Nelly
totally the same
Everytime only like to scold
students but
hahahahahaha
i had never give them a chance to let them scold me...

I was skipped her second period
to go canteen and have my lunch
when i come back i lie to her that
i stomachache eventually
she don't believe me but i just don't
care her and scold her back
all my classmate saw that...
haha
She is so stupid and lousy teacher
I think she is the most easiest teacher
that i lie to her so easily

Haiz... still wondering is her brain born
at her back side....

hahahahahahahaha

That all i can said....
i also wondering if she saw this at my blog
what will she feels...
And what kind of action will she take....
Hahahaha

Hulk Hogan always said
What u gonna do brother.......
What u gonna do
When hulkemania x run wild at u ....
hahahahahahaha

And to all other teacher that had
made me angry.....
Don't ever play with me or else
U will sure in my blacklist...

Stone Cold always said
Because it the bottom line
Cause Benny Teo said so.....

The Rock always Said
If u smell llllllliiiiiiiiiao
What the Benny is cooking....

IT FUNNY RIGHT...
that all i can said
Good Night
And
PEACE

2008-05-11T11:03:00.002+08:00

Haiz....
Day past so fast
Have not enough time to enjoy...

Omg I haven't do my OSA project
aiyo forget it than
i don't want to do
it so ma lu
write about my family
don't know why the fucker teacher
want to give this topic
Like SHIT

I don't really like this course
Don't know why i choose it
Maybe think it fun
but it not lor....
Everyday WRITE WRITE WRITE
than
LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN

Totally no different as going to secondary sch
I so jealous my friend
all can where ITE pe t-shirt and polo-t shirt
to school...It so nice

Hope ite Bishan also can .....
haha
i think only in my dream

Yesterday never enjoy well
I wake up very late...
and i only spent all my time at home
Haiz... Very Waste right
Never go out....
I wish too but it so tired
Just think about sleeping
But today different
I can enjoy my favourite football game
all at one time Yeah....
Eight EPL Game live on TV

Yeah.....
Come on CHELSEA

As U all know i support Chelsea so i really wish
they can win so that CHAMPION IS
GOING TO LONDON(CHELSEA)

Hope Manu
CAN LOSE LOSE LOSE

That all i can said today
I need to go out for breakfast
So hope u all enjoy it
Take Care
and
PEACE....

2008-05-07T18:49:00.004+08:00

Hey u scared isn't.....
Don't dare to write anymore....
Continue write lah ....
U think i scared u ....
Hahaha......

U totally NO GUT......
Oh i forgot u are girls hor.....
Should be no !@#$ @#$
Flat Panel wan ....
Haizz....
I don't like to fight with girls ......
So sad
Maybe some other people can help me ....
Haizzz....
U better keep your mouth shut
and shut the hell up lah
Continue to be your good girls lah
Don't go make trouble
or else your parents sure cry badly
even your house also flood

hahahahahahahaha

2008-05-07T17:58:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It so Funny
I know who u are ....
Don't think your English is so good
.....
U must think where u study
now.....Express or directly go ploy
without study Secondary School

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I don't think so.....
OH OH OH
Wait Wait Wait Wait let me guess....
Hmmmmmm
Isn't Normal Academic
Errrrrr....
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
It's Normal Tech
hahahahahahaha

Normal Tech students
Haiz no hope

U know chinese people said
"Wu Yao Ke Jiu"
So pity u too....

Now i know who you are
Should i post your name, address and school
at my blog or at Friendster....
hahahahahahahaha
I don't like people force me to do it
But i had no choice....
So don't try to be funny
And don't force me to do it....
I know u also don't wish me to do it
SO I MAKE IT SIMPLY AND CLEAR
DON'T EVER WRITE RUBBISH AT MY
BLOG COMMENT OR ELSE
DON'T SAID I NEVER GIVE U CHANCE

U also don't think u very beautiful
outside still got million girls i can choose
Not only u....
And don't feels proud and act that a lot of
guy like u.....
Better think before u write

I shouldn't waste my time......
Totally waste time....
Waste my effort....
I should spent all my time with my Brother than
wasting on u ......

That all i can said to you

As also to all my reader
DON'T EVER TRY TO BE FUNNY WITH ME
OR ELSE
I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE VERY HARD
SO DON'T FORCE ME TO DO IT....

-.- ????

2008-05-05T21:44:00.002+08:00

-.-
WHO THE HELL ARE U ???
u think this is funny writing
You're SUCKS !
and
You look so disgusting...
at my blog comment...
Are u feels every free
writing all this at my comment
Than why u don't spend your time
go geylang or changi to fuck
someone....
Spending all this time writing all shit
at my comment
If u got gut
jolly well own up...
Don't make me find out
who are u??
If i find up ....
U better walk away from me
or else i make sure beat the hell up
of you......

Don't ever try to be funny at me
I will make your life a very hard
If u ever saw me......

Piss it off u fucker......

Totally no common sense
Parent never teach u what is manner isn't
Isn't feels to free to type rubbish at my blog
U better own up ...U fucker.....

LPD Project

2008-04-28T13:13:00.005+08:00

Hi Everyone

I am doing my LPD Project

As for this PROJECT i will

Sell WWE Card

As for WWE Card i am a big collection and also a big fans of wwe

So let check out all my collection

THE FACECARD

THE DECK

Booster Pack

Single Card

So if u wish to have justa single card or a starter or even WWE Deck
U may contact me though My msn or write it at my comment at the side of my blog

For Further details u may visit to www.comicimages.com/rawdeal

or go to my PRODUCERS company at Toa Payoh Lor 7 Block 8 beside the coffeeshop

there is a uncle selling card. You may go there and check out more detail

about all different playing card like

YU-GI-OH,DUAL MASTER AND WWE CARDS

So that all i can said hope u all enjoy it

Take care and PEACE

2008-04-24T17:21:00.002+08:00

This 3 day is so miserable
I keep saw her...
the her i cannot tell it secret
i really wish to prevent seeing her ..
but it so hard
1st she study at my sch
2nd there is only one canteen
it totally so easy to saw her
i really wish to prevent seeing her...

And i had choose my choice yeah...
I will go for my dream....
now i feels relax liao
no daydreaming and thinking about it already
Finally peacefully
but now i feels sch is totally boring
no joke no fun no enjoyable
really sian man

And finally see my favorite player
being interview at top corner
he is so nervous
Ya maybe is his first time
So cannot blame him haha
so maybe this few day i will put the interview
inside my blog so don't miss it ok
And continue support him and his club
ok.....
Come on LUDO
Fight for your 100 goal
and
Top Scorer and most importantly
Player of the years ok
KEEP WORKING HARD FOR YOUR AWARD...
I will be your back and support u wherever u go....

That all i can say
i really tired now
just come back from sch
and my last period is PE
so really tired

hope can post to u all soon
see ya and PEACE

2008-04-09T23:57:00.002+08:00

Hi Everyone
Today i feels so confused and sad...
i feels that my whole life is
so sick and tiring
I really feels of going
to drying soon
I keep thinking about
what i had done to myself
i really so confused
i really don't know what am i doing

And i had not being talking so much
since evening till now
I keep thinking WHY
I also failure
What i wanted but i can't get what i wanted
I really feels lonely and tiring

I really hope i can get what i wanted soon
and don't really like to feels boring
GOD is really needs your help
Hope u can get what i wanted
and get my another half of my life soon
PLEASE GOD PLEASE HELP ME
I don't like this kind of feeling
and
feels so sick and tiring....

I hope time can turn back
to the past
So i don't have all kind of pain

This time it really make my heart broke
it so painful...
I really can't take it anymore
Hope GOD can cure my problem soon

And i also had another problem about
my future

I now had two choice to go...

1) Sign with navy
or
2) Go for my ambition
(play in the sleague)

I really don't know
my mind is fully blank now
i really can't think anymore
it gonna to make me so crazy

So everyone please give me some suggestion
what should i choose
1 or 2

PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND MY FUTURE

Ok everyone that all i can said
Hope u all can help me to choose
So GOOD NIGHT AND TAKE CARE

GOD PLEASE HELP ME TO SOLVE MY PROBLEM

2008-04-07T00:55:00.003+08:00

Today is my Sadness day ever in my whole life
I can't believe that this thing had happen to me
I don't mean to do it but it really too late
to apologizes to someone
and end up she wrote this at her blog..

There is this guy keeping bugging me non stop...
Hey you. Stop bugging me okays ?
To me , You're so irritated.
Stop SENDING Gifts or Friend Request to me.
I'll just ignore you & banned you .
You're so crazy....
You're making so afraid of you.
I don't want you to be my friend either.
how much apologize you give me. I'll just ignore you.
5 million or zillion also no use.
I'll just deny it ..
I hope you get this message.:)
& stop doing all this things!
I'm really sorry for the harsh words.
But seriously I'm sick & tired of you.
You know who you're .
Don't expect me to said your fullname out, don't you ? ;)
I hate you. I really hate you.=)

This what she wrote ...
Ya i admitted that i Like U but i had done wrong
I know I shouldn't do all this
So i said SORRY to you
But WHY u said irritated u
Firstly i don't have your number
and
Secondly i hardly chat with u and
the last time i chat will u is my birthday
LAST YEAR...

And u also said that WHY i keep giving
Gifts at your yearbook
Because i want to prove to u that
i really done wrong so buy Gifts
at yearbook to apologizes to u
and
About friend request
Because i hope u still can give
me a chance
Lastly...
U banned me to go in your blog
for the pass 1 month
As u know this one month i really
sad but the only thing i can do
is keep praying that
u are alright...
and that time u said u
got skin problem
so i try my best to find the best
clinic to cure
your skin...
DOING ALL THIS THING JUST BECAUSE I LIKE U

than WHY u so afraid of me and making u crazy
I really don't mean to do it
Because i like u
so i also can't get to contact u so
this is the only way that i can prove to u that
I Like u and i also satiffice
to study office skill
as it was not the course
that i wanted
but just because of u
i try my best to get in
and also heard some good thing
about office skill
that u said it to me
so i took the course
but i can't get clementi
end up at bishan...

And that day at stadium....

You know WHY i buy u a present because
I had done wrong and i really don't mean to do it
And i was really busy with my stuff
So i requested my friend as part of me
the pass u the present..
Ya i know u will think that WHY suddenly
give u a present without telling u ....
This is because i can't contact u and
also don't know how to tell u so
I just sudden brought u a present
as my apologizes
and
your birthday present
...
I really don't mean it

Please if u see this message
Hope u can give me a chance
to apologize u
...
I really hope u can give me a chance ...
PLEASE.............

Tag Reply

2008-03-10T23:39:00.003+08:00

pro at soccer: teach me skills .

pro at soccer: your soccer very good ah?

Reply: Thank u but can i know who are u

and pls next time put your Email Address ok..

Thakns u so much hope can see u around ..

old friend: benny y u never update ur blog

Reply: So sorry that i wan't free for the past

few week but i will update to u all soon

and thaks for reading my blog

ZaNsPaDe: yo Benny!

~SZ~: hi BENNY.byeBENNY. LOL =)

Hi friends thanks u for tagging me hope u all

can continue tag me ok..

I really must thanks everyone for coming to my blog

I really hope u all can continue read my blog

and i will try to update as much as i can to

let all my reader to read my blog

and most important is please if u all

wish to tag me..type in your Email address

or your real name at least i know that

u are the one that tagging me ok

I hope everyone like it and

never stop reading my blog

THANKS EVERYONE

2008-02-18T18:04:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was my sadness day that i have in my life

after the game at stadium

i was in my sad face walking out the stadium

i just dont know WHY

i had been sad till now

Maybe it fate or maybe it not my day

i really can't stop thinking about it

Hope the fate can turn around soon

Secondary School Part 2

2008-02-17T11:42:00.009+08:00

Maybe u all think that i am crazy about my

secondary school life....

but is not...

I really miss them, even we study different ite right

now but we still spent most of our time to meet each other

Maybe this is fate

Maybe we will never stop our friendship forever...

This Secondary life is the best life i ever been in

my education history...

Maybe most of them know

Our class is joker and like to play

but when it come to study everyone will take it serious

And as me i really seldom with them because

as a role model for the class

I really can't be with them

Ya most of the time i will get calling a bad

name by them and get influence

by them but all this had been

my memories....

This class 4T1 will never die if our friendship never end

Mirzan

4T1

Jin fa,Khalid,Mirzan,Firman

Mr Chong our Co Form Teacher with our Gang

Ashwin,Aniq,Jin fa,Mirzan and Gopal

2008-02-16T15:45:00.003+08:00

There is a change of Friendly for this Sunday

No Singapore Celebrity vs Korean Celebrity

Change it to

Korean Celebrity vs Super Red Team

Today at Jalan Besar stadium

and

Tomorrow It will be a Charity Shield

Between Home United VS SAFFC

2 of the top teams will play each other before the start of the season

Both of them are my favourite teams...

Aiyo...Who should i Support

Sooooooooo Confuse

Haiz....

Never mind let enjoy the fun tomorrow at Jalan Besar Stadium

For Myself....

I really so confused

Whether should i go for the cross country

just because of represent my school

Should i go

Haiz....

And i have my new cca already

its SOCCER

this Friday start Training

I can't wait to that day to come

can meet all new team-mate

and playing in new enviroment

........................

Haizzzzzzz

2008-02-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

SLEAGUE starting soon .....Can't wait for the sleague season start
Can see my favourite player like KENGNE LUDOVICK, JOHN WINKINSON, KAZE(CARLOS), PAUL,
INDRA SHADAN, AMOS BOON, LIONEL LEWIS AND LOT MORE
And there is more new forgiener player in action
Really can't wait... And this SUNDAY the Last Friendly Game
As SAFFC will play against the sleague newcomer Dalian
And there is another game before the last friendly
Singapore Celebrity vs Korean Celebrity
and that not all
still got SLEAGUE Funfare sure got lot of fun
Hope i can make it as early as possible for all the excitement...

And for Myself....
I really can't get it
WHAT IS LOVE REALLY ABOUT
maybe i haven't try before
I really want to know the answer
Because i had discovered that 'Once a person saw a girl in few second
the guy will automatics said he fall in love to that girl'
So incredible...
It just less than a hours the guy will have a feeling at a girl
Maybe i also....
I had fall in love at someone for 4 years but both time she rejected me
Maybe i don't had the fate
I really can't believe it but now i still thinking WHY she rejected me
But i had forgotten her already...And now i got another girl that i like
but i had never since her before
and i only chat to her in the net but since than i had never chat
with her since the last time is on my birthday
I really don't know how is she and what is she doing now
I really SAD that i have not been chatting with her so long
and never reply my mail....
Only can see her photo at her blog.....
REALLY ALL THIS IS MY FATE....
I REALLY DISAPPOINTED MYSELF
WHAT SHOULD I GONNA TO DO....
Can anyone help me solve this problem
Haiz......

Ok that all i can share to u
Good Night and God Bless Everyone

2008-01-22T22:27:00.001+08:00

Today very very Tired
just don't know why
But today school is fucking boring
and
End school fucking late...
Just don't know why
must go Macpherson ITE to listen a speech
by our principal and some other ITE staff
The speech is very boring
almost slept but no choice must give face
to our principal so cannot sleep
and they said it will end in 1 hour and 15 min
but at last they end around 2 hours
So fucking angry
No choice because it my school so must give face
once i reach home
i post to u all but now i feel very
Sleepy so hope u all don't angry
I will post more tomorrow
I promise u all ok...
So SORRY....
So Good Night and God Bless U

Secondary Life

2008-01-21T19:33:00.000+08:00

I miss Secondary School Life

I miss my Classmate
I miss my Teacher
Hope the clock can turn it back
But this won't happen

I really applicate what GOD give us the class that never be forget and with a good Teacher that caring us....We also bring our heart to school and to our buddy classmate
And as our class help each other when we needed help and always said
ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL

As a part of FTP Family and 4T1 (2007)...I will never regret joining the school and i will be proud of my School .. So as a Chairman for 2 years ...
I wish everyone a DREAM COME TRUE AND GOD ALWAYS BLESS EVERYONE
Hope our buddy friend had a bright future
So now let enjoy our magical moments in 2003-2007Represent School
2008 futsal 5-a-side tournament
1st Position

Teacher Day PartyOur Teacher Our Buddy Brother

BENEDICT(ALAN SMITH)JACKIE(CRISTIANO RONALDO)Khalid(Eto'o)

MARCUSFARHANNAH AND BI ZHEN
LIKE KIN SISTER

That all i can put ....
Take care everyone
Hope u enjoy it....
God Bless U

My Favourite Player

2008-01-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

Kengne Ludovick

He is one of my favorite player in Singapore...As everyone know that he has being playing at Planet FC but because of some problem PLANET FC had to close down so on 2005 Season he play at Balestier Khalsa FC...During his day at Balestier...He is my first S league player i knew and also stay somewhere around my block...So during Saturday and Sunday as he don't have any training i will spent my evening time going his house and watch football even Friday night watching S league Live Game....As he playing at Balestier, he managed to score 44 goal in 2 Season included Singapore Cup to help the teams out of the bottom table...He was award S league Young Player of the years in 2006 Season...But he didn't continue to play at Balestier as he was moved to Home United...So till now he has score 20 goals for Home united included Singapore Cup...And 64 goals in his S league career...Let hope he can Continue scoring and breaks the 100 goals margin soon...And as I am his best brother i will continue to support you where ever u go... So Let everyone see Kengne Ludovick Greatest moment hope u all like it

Hi Everyone

2008-01-20T02:46:00.000+08:00

My name is Benny and my nickname is Randy.... I am 16 year old guy currently Single..... I now still study at ITE BISHAN(SERVICE SKILL) OFFICE... I will let u all know more about me

My hobby is playing soccer

I am a very lonely person

I am a Chelsea FANS and Home United n SAFFC fans

But i hate to join fans club

No interest on study

Die hard Sleague fans

My favourite player for Chelsea is

JOHN TERRY

That all i can said maybe i will let u know more about me if i can think about it

And i will try to posts everyday if i free because as i said i am a lonely person so i will spent most of my time posting...So now let u see my best Chelsea Image hope u can guve me some comment

Good Night Everyone

Take Care and God Bless Everyone